Starting Again
by A Chocolate Frog
Summary: SPOILER ALERT: LAST EPISODE OF SEASON 3! Oneshot. "Don't you dare die on me, Charlie!" Claire shouted through her tears. "My plane crashes, I give birth in the middle of the jungle...I bloody well can't take anymore! Come back to me, Charlie, I need you."


_SPOILER ALERT: LAST EPISODE OF SEASON 3_

_I absolutely refuse to believe that Charlie is dead, and I have a solid theory as to why, but I won't go into that here. This is what happens after he wakes up..._

_- - - - -_

_**Starting Again**  
_

The sun was high in the sky, shedding light on the brilliant green foliage of the jungle and warming the cluster of roughly constructed tents that dotted the sand. A cool breeze blew across the island, carrying with it the salty ocean spray and the scent of fresh fish roasting over a fire several yards down the beach. Waves crashed against the shore, creating a soothing background to the rhythm of daily routines. In short, it was about as perfect a day as an unrescued survivor of a plane crash could ask for.

The idyllic beauty was totally lost on Claire Littleton, however. She was sitting in the shade of a plastic tarp draped over four bamboo poles, and her attention was completely absorbed by the two sleeping figures on either side of her.

The one on her right made a soft noise and Claire looked over, allowing herself a small smile. Aaron, her two-month-old son looked so peaceful in his bundle of blankets. Sometimes she envied him; he had no idea he was stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere with hostile scientists and potentially dangerous false rescuers. She rocked his cradle gently, though she knew he would sleep for another hour or so. Then she turned her attention to the person on her left.

Charlie Pace lay completely motionless except for the slight rise and fall of his chest. Claire's smile faded as she took his cold, pale hand in hers. He wasn't supposed to be asleep. Maybe asleep wasn't even the right term, but she didn't care. It had been four days since he had been conscious, four days since Desmond had had another stupid "flash" of Charlie dying, four days since Charlie had swum to the research station deep under the ocean to turn off the Others' radio-jamming signal and nearly drowned.

Claire felt tears welling in her eyes as she remembered Jack's words from yesterday: "I've done all I can. Now it's up to him. He's got to come back on his own." Inside the station, Desmond had managed to break down the door to the radio room, drag Charlie back to the surface, and get him breathing again, but he had been deprived of oxygen for a long time. Until he regained consciousness, there was no telling whether he had suffered brain damage or how serious it was.

"Please come back, Charlie," Claire whispered, gently stroking his forehead. "Come back to me." She sniffled, and before she knew it the tears spilled over, hot against her face, and she was seized by a sudden anger.

"Damn it, Charlie, don't you dare die on me!" she shouted. "My plane crashes on this godforsaken island; I get kidnapped by sadistic freaks so they can do medical experiments on me; I give birth in the middle of the jungle; the rescue team turns out to be fake, maybe even dangerous; I bloody well can't take anymore! Don't you dare leave me here alone! Don't you dare!"

Overcome, she collapsed and buried her face in his chest, her tears soaking his T-shirt. "Charlie, come back," she wept. "Don't leave me! Don't leave me, Charlie! I need you."

Her breathing was so ragged, her body so wracked with sobs, that at first she was sure she had imagined his hand twitching within hers. But no, there it was again! Claire gasped and sat up, just in time to see Charlie's eyes flutter open.

"Claire?" he muttered faintly.

"Charlie!" she cried. "I'm here, Charlie, it's Claire!"

"I came back," he said, his voice raspy. "Someone told me you needed me, and I came back."

Tears still streaming from her eyes, Claire leaned down without thinking and kissed his face again and again – his cheeks, his lips, his nose, his forehead – until she realized he was laughing softly. She sat back to see the cheeky grin she had missed so much.

"I may have to die more often, if that's the kind of welcome I get."

"Oh, Charlie," she sighed, shaking her head. "Hold on, I'll be right back, I promise."

She stood and dashed out into the bright sunlight, shouting, "Jack! Jack!"

"Claire, are you okay?" Sun asked, hurrying toward her. Desmond and Sayid followed close behind.

"Yes, I'm fine. Where's Jack?" Claire asked breathlessly.

"He's not back yet," Sayid said. "What's wrong? Is Charlie alright?"

"Yes!" Claire exclaimed. "He's awake!"

"What? That's wonderful!" Sun cried. She, Desmond, and Sayid followed Claire into the tent and gathered around Charlie.

"Hi, all," he rasped, weakly attempting to sit up. Desmond and Sayid helped him until he was leaning comfortably against the wall of the tent. "Thanks, guys. Blimey, my throat hurts."

"Ye swallowed a hell of a lot of salt water," Desmond reminded him. "Have ye had anything to drink?"

"Here," Sun said, picking up a bottle of water from the ground.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," Claire said, feeling incredibly foolish. "I should have given you water right away, it was right there next to me –"

Charlie held up his hand to stop her as he took a long swig. Then he said, "Claire, don't worry about it. I'll be fine, I promise."

Sayid was watching Charlie critically, wearing the familiar expression that meant he had a thousand questions to ask. "Charlie, are you alright?" he said finally. "Can you remember anything from the Looking Glass?"

Charlie took another drink, thinking hard. "Not much," he said. "All I remember is playing 'Good Vibrations' on the keypad, and the yellow light went out. Then I was playing Chinese checkers."

"What?" Claire asked, thoroughly confused.

"I know, it was very weird. I was in this big, white room, playing Chinese checkers, which I don't even know how to play, with my brother Liam, and Shannon, and the Queen."

Sayid drew his breath in sharply, but Sun asked, "The Queen? You mean the Queen of England?"

Charlie nodded. "That's the one. Anyways, we're all sitting around this table playing, and after I win my tenth game in a row, Liam looks at me and says, 'All right, baby brother, it's time for you to go back.'

"'Back where?' I ask.

"'The island, of course,' he says.

"'The island?' I ask. 'But I can't go back there. I'm dead. I've drowned.'

"Shannon looks at me and rolls her eyes and says, 'You're not dead, trust me. You didn't drown because that guy with the long hair busted open the door and saved you.'"

"I just couldn't sit there and watch you drown, brother," Desmond interrupted.

Charlie smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate that," he said sincerely, and then continued. "So I'm just about to say, 'All right, I'll go back' when I remember the other part of what Desmond told me. 'I can't go back to the island,' I say. 'Des said I had to die so Claire and Aaron could be rescued.'

"'Don't you get it?' says Shannon. 'They didn't get rescued because you didn't die. You have to go back, Charlie.'

"I'm just about to argue with her again, when the Queen holds up her hand and says, 'Listen, boy. Do you hear that?'

"So I stop, and I listen real hard, and all of a sudden I hear someone crying. 'What's wrong? Who's that?' I ask.

"The Queen looks me right in the eye and says, 'That girl needs you. You're going back to that island, Charlie Pace, because you're not done there, and that young girl and her baby need you to be there with them.'

"'All right, I'm going back,' I say, and I look around the room, but there's no door or black hole or anything. 'Just one thing,' I say, 'how do I get out of here?'

"And Liam looks at me and shakes his head and says, 'Open your eyes, baby brother. Just open your eyes.'

"So I open my eyes, and the first thing I see is this lovely creature sitting right next to me." Charlie smiled at Claire and reached for her hand. "And that's all I know."

A silence fell over the tent as everyone tried to process Charlie's story. Then Aaron began to fuss, and Claire bent over to pick him up, cooing, "Hello, sweetheart!"

Sun smiled at the baby and then turned to Charlie. "We'd better get going. You probably ought to rest some more."

Charlie nodded. "I am feeling pretty tired."

"Glad you're back, brother," Desmond said. Looking more worried than actually glad, he followed Sun out of the tent.

Sayid made to leave too, but he hesitated and looked at Charlie, a particular question burning in his eyes. "Charlie," he began haltingly, "in your dream – or whatever it was – what was – I mean, how did –?"

Charlie understood perfectly what the Iraqi was trying to express. "She looked good, mate," he said with a genuine smile. "Beautiful. Really happy."

Sayid nodded curtly. "Good," he said. Then he quickly ducked outside.

Claire sat down next to Charlie, still holding Aaron, who had stopped crying the instant he heard the familiar Manchester accent. "Up for one more visitor?" she asked.

"Of course!" Charlie said, taking the baby in his arms. "Hey there, you," he murmured, kissing the top of Aaron's soft head. "Did you miss me?"

The baby smiled and gurgled in response.

"I really think he did," Claire said. She paused and then said, "I did too. Four days is a long time."

"Four days?" Charlie gaped. "Was I really out for that long?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"What happened at the radio tower, then? Why didn't everyone get rescued?"

"Naomi wasn't actually part of a rescue team. Jack realized there was a problem, and he rushed us all back to the beach. He and some of the others are off trying to figure things out, but I really don't know what's going on. I've spent the last four days sitting here in your tent," she explained.

"But you were supposed to be rescued!" Charlie exclaimed. "Des was supposed to leave me there to die so you could –" He broke into a fit of dry coughs.

"I don't want to hear anymore about you supposedly having to die!" Claire reprimanded sternly as she handed him the water bottle. "How in the world was your death going to change who Naomi was? She'd already been on the island for a week!"

"But Desmond's flashes –" he began.

"Are a load of rubbish!" she finished angrily. "I think whatever it was that made the sky turn purple messed with his head. After he brought you back to the beach, unconscious and barely breathing, he told me about his stupid flashes, and I said that was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. Then I punched him in the face, and he hasn't had anymore since."

Charlie goggled. "You did _what?_"

"I punched him in the face," Claire repeated unabashedly. "I mean, really, he was just planning to leave you down there –"

Charlie shook his head in amazement and looked down at Aaron, who was contentedly gnawing on his own fingers. "You've got to take better care of your mama, Turnip Head," he told the baby. "Honestly, I'm out of it for a little while and she goes completely bonkers!"

"Don't talk about me like that in front of my son," Claire scolded, but she was smiling.

Aaron began to fuss, and Charlie halfheartedly bounced him up and down. "What's wrong, little man?" he asked through a huge yawn.

"He's probably hungry," Claire said. "I'll take him and feed him. You'd better get some more rest."

"Yeah, I guess I'll take a little nap." Charlie yawned again, handing the baby back to his mother. "You know, I'm glad I didn't die down there," he said casually.

"Me too," she said sincerely.

- - - - -

Jack returned to the beach later that day and checked Charlie out, giving him a clean bill of health, other than mild dehydration. In almost no time, Charlie was up and about, helping Jin catch fish and surveying Eko's half-finished church, trying to decide whether or not to continue construction.

One afternoon a few days later, he poked his head into Claire's tent. "Anybody home?" he asked.

Claire was perched on her bed, writing in her diary. "Shhh!" she hissed, gesturing toward Aaron's cradle. "I just got him down for a nap. He was very stubborn today."

"Sorry," Charlie said, lowering his voice. He glanced at the sleeping baby and couldn't help but smile. Then he turned to Claire. "Listen, today is Friday. What do you say we go out on the town tonight?"

"Does the island have a town I'm not aware of?" Claire laughed. "I'd love to go, but I don't know who I can ask to watch Aaron. Sun was awfully sick this morning."

"She's feeling much better now. I already asked, and Auntie Sun and Uncle Jin would be thrilled to take care of the little one for the evening," Charlie said triumphantly. "So, what do you say?"

"Okay," she agreed. "Let's go out on the town!"

"I'll come by about seven o' clock. I'd better go and get a few things ready now, though." Charlie winked mysteriously and ducked back outside.

- - - - -

Charlie arrived at Claire's tent at five minutes to seven just as she emerged, carrying Aaron in her arms.

"I was just about to take him over to Sun and Jin's," she said.

"We can all go together, then," Charlie replied, gently tickling Aaron's tummy. The baby gurgled and grabbed onto Charlie's index finger. "He's getting strong!"

Claire said nothing, but the interaction brought a grateful smile to her lips. As they reached the Kwons' tent, she called, "Hello!"

Jin came outside. "Hello. Sun come back soon," he said slowly.

"Is she feeling alright?" Claire asked, concerned.

Jin nodded. "Yes. Sun not sick. She go to...to kitchen," he said, proud that he had remembered the word.

"That's good," Charlie said as he worked his finger out of Aaron's grasp. "You know, your English is getting much better, mate."

"Thank you. I practice...much," Jin said as he held out his arms to take the baby.

Claire kissed her son and handed him over. "Thank you so much for watching him tonight. Tell Sun thanks too."

"You are welcome," Jin replied.

"We won't be out too late," Charlie said.

"Okay. Have...fun!"

Charlie and Claire started down the beach, but after a short distance Charlie turned toward the tree line.

"Where are we going?" Claire asked, looking perplexed.

"It's a surprise."

"You do _know_ where you're going, right?" she wondered as they started into the jungle.

Charlie dramatically clapped a hand to his heart. "Claire, I'm insulted! Of course I know where I'm going!"

"Just checking. You know, Jack said you could have suffered brain damage after your little episode in the water," she teased.

"I'm sure it would make me all the more lovable," he chuckled. "Besides, it would probably add to the mystique of my 'rock god' image."

Claire raised her eyebrows. "We sure think highly of ourselves tonight," she said sarcastically.

"Hopefully you will too, in a moment."

"What?"

"Nothing. Come on, we're nearly there."

A few minutes later, they emerged from the trees onto a small, secluded beach. The sun had just begun to set, and it glinted off the ocean like a thousand tiny diamonds. On the sand near a small, crackling fire, an airline blanket covered the ground. On top of it were two bowls of sliced mangoes, two fish wrapped in palm leaves, a box of Dharma crackers, and a jar of peanut butter.

Claire gasped. "Charlie, this is amazing! Did you do all this?"

He nodded. "Yep. Well, mostly. I had some help from Desmond. He seemed to think you deserved it, even after you punched him." He took her hand and led her to the blanket. They sat down, and he reached behind the box of crackers and pulled out a small bouquet of bright pink orchids. "For you," he said.

She shook her head in wonder. "Wow, you really went all-out!" She breathed deeply, inhaling the flowers' sweet, tropical fragrance. "Mmmm," she sighed. "Thank you."

"I somehow guessed it's been a really long time since you've had a nice, romantic evening," Charlie said, poking the wrapped-up fish into the coals of the fire.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Claire laughed. "I was single and pregnant, then my plane crashed on a remote island...I have no idea how you came to that conclusion."

He grinned. "I've always been a clever one."

When they had eaten their fill, they took off their shoes and moved to the water's edge, letting the gentle waves wash over their feet. The sky was tinged with pink, orange, and purple as the sun sank below the horizon. A soft breeze ruffled Claire's long hair as she laid her head on Charlie's shoulder.

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"Very," she sighed. "I haven't been this happy in a long time." She paused a moment and then said, "You know how I promised I wouldn't worry about you when you went down to the Looking Glass? Well, I lied. I was worried the whole time, and when I got back to the beach and saw Desmond carrying you across his shoulders like that...I was so scared, Charlie! I thought I was going to lose you!"

"Shhh," he said gently. "Let's not talk about that. I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere." He took her hand and held it tightly. "I promised I'd take care of you and Aaron, and I intend to keep my word."

"I don't know what I would do without you. You've kept me sane here, and you've been such a big help with Aaron. You're such a natural with him, and he loves you."

"I don't know where it comes from. I've never dealt with kids before. My brother has a daughter who's about three, but I've only seen her a couple of times. They've been living in Sydney since she was a month old." Charlie took a deep breath and said, "I guess when I'm with you and Aaron, I just feel good. I feel like I'm important, like I'm _worth_ something. When I'm with you two, I'm not just a useless heroin addict."

"You're not an addict anymore," Claire reminded him.

"I know, but sometimes I feel like a lot of the others think of me like I still am."

"Well, they shouldn't! I think ending an addiction is about the strongest, bravest thing a person can possible do," she said emphatically.

"Giving birth in the middle of the jungle is right up there," Charlie pointed out.

Claire rolled her eyes. "Well, it's not like I had much choice about that."

"I guess not." He looked down at their clasped hands and suddenly he said, "Wait a minute, where did this come from?" He held up his hand, looking puzzled.

"What? Your Driveshaft ring? I found it in Aaron's cradle when we got back to the beach. I figured it had fallen off at some point, and I put it back on your finger," she said.

"I guess I'm so used to wearing it that I didn't even notice it was back. It's an old family heirloom. The 'DS' stands for 'Dexter Stratton,' who was my great-great-great-grandfather or something. We named the band after him. My mum gave the ring to my brother, because he's the oldest, but he gave it to me because he figured he was going to overdose before he had any kids to pass it on to," Charlie explained. "He told me I'd be the one to grow up and have a family someday."

"Okay," said Claire, "but how did it get into Aaron's cradle?"

Charlie hesitated. "I put it there before I left for the Looking Glass. I thought I was going to die, you know, and I wanted to pass the ring on. I know Aaron isn't my son, but he's the closest thing I've got. I'm sorry if that was out of line."

"No, I think it's incredibly sweet. God knows you've been more of a father to Aaron than his real father will ever be," she said honestly. "But you're still here, so you keep wearing it."

"Okay."

Claire took Charlie's hand once again and snuggled into him. He wrapped his free arm around her, gently rubbing her shoulder, and they fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the soothing crash of the waves.

"Look at all those stars," Charlie murmured after a while.

"I know," Claire agreed. "I could never see any stars in Sydney because of all the bright lights, but here there are a million. I guess there's one good thing that came out of the plane crash."

"I can think of another."

"What?"

He shifted so they could see each other face-to-face. A smile danced behind his eyes. "In the middle of all this insanity, with monsters and polar bears and crazy scientists, I met this beautiful girl with blue eyes and long, blond hair and an incredible, strong, fun spirit, and you know what? I fell in love."

Claire caressed his cheek, smiling, and said softly, "I love you too, Charlie."

Slowly, cautiously, they leaned into each other, and suddenly their lips met. This kiss was different than the others they had shared, tentative at first, but growing in intensity. Claire's arms fumbled their way around Charlie's neck, and she moaned softly as his hand found the small of her back.

Finally they broke apart, both feeling giddy and euphoric.

"I love you," Claire said again.

"I love you too." Charlie kissed her forehead and glanced at his watch. "I guess we'd better head back. They'll wonder if we've been eaten by something out here."

"I wish we could stay here forever," she sighed as they brushed themselves off and moved back up the beach. "Well, except that I couldn't live without Aaron. It's nice to have a very short break, but I would miss my little boy way too much."

"I'd miss him too."

Charlie shoveled sand over the last of the smoldering fire, and Claire gathered the peanut butter, crackers, and bowls and folded up the blanket.

"Let me carry some of that," he said, taking all but the blanket out of her hands. "And here, don't forget these." He handed her the flowers.

She lifted them to her nose and breathed deeply again. They still smelled wonderful and sweet. "Thank you for everything tonight, Charlie. I will never, as long as I live, forget this evening."

"Me neither," he replied. "I don't know how I survived before I met you. Everything was one big mess."

"This island gave us all a chance to change, a chance to start over," Claire said as they slipped their arms around each other and started back through the jungle. "And I can't think of anyone else I'd rather start over with."

- - - - -

_Please read and review, I'd love to know what you think!! (I apologize for the stupid title. It was the best thing I could come up with.)  
_

_Can't wait for the season premiere:)_

_--A Chocolate Frog_


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